Accidents don’t happen

Innocent love fills a man and a woman.

His love engulfed my heart as mine his

And I never thought future and beauty could cause pain.

Over time our love fermented richly I almost felt as though his scent bled through mine

—

Through my sheets, through my clothes, through my skin, through my heart.

My uterus with eggs not yet touched

Now fertilized with his seed.

Accidents don’t happen.

So when I felt the movement of a neonate unborn I knelt down to feel the gift…

The burden, OH FUCK!

Accidents don’t happen.

Repeating the prayers, and the nightly cries,

The constant staring at oneself in the mirror.

I began to lose myself…

I began to lose my dreams.

And I began to lose my survival.

10 weeks my lamb set in my womb

Consuming my every nature of being

Until I blinked, vacuumed, and nothing.

Walking down linoleum tiled cold flooring

The pressure of heartbreak kills my mental state.

Synthetic white impure lights shine down

My white faded gown hides the nakedness embarrassment the shame.

Accidents don’t happen.

Rubber latex gloves placed delicately on inner thighs.

Pressure.

Then in an instant

The movement of the unborn neonate stops.

A single tear drops from eye

To my cheek

To my heart

To the tiled floor that guided me to the car.

I never thought future and beauty could cause so much pain

Ⓒ Aryiel Everett 2022 All Rights Reserved

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